The rain pours down on the shingles of my house. I’m staring outside the window, watching it come down. There’s something about the heavy rain that I find calming. Right now I need to feel calm. I need to feel relaxed. My heart is in my throat because I’m on the verge of being eliminated from the tournament.
Despite having breezed through the early rounds. I’ve found myself at an impass, here in the semi-finals. Two games, two very difficult games, are all that’s keeping me from reaching my first spreadsheet final. Those game are 88 Bricks and Fracuum. My opponents; Blizzard, VideoGames, and Louweed are obscenely good at them. Insultingly good. Which leaves me on thin ice, trying to fend off the remaining competitors.
I’m staring at the glass. What would it mean for me to be in the finals? I turn that thought over in my head. Gradually becoming aware of the time I check my watch. Six hours until the round ends. Time for me to put an end to this.
I jump into my chair and go to work. The job at hand isn’t an easy one. Shawner wants to go
through, I can tell that. He’s already ahead of me in 88 bricks. He’s trailing badly in Fracuum but
I know that he’s capable of closing that distance. In this late stage of the tournament the margins
between us is so small. It would only take a small improvement for any one of them to surpass
me and for my dream run to be over.
I pound away at Fracuum. Not with the hopes of positioning myself inside the top 3. My goal is
simply to qualify for the finals.
Having improved my score to the point where I’m so sick of playing the game that I can’t take it
anymore, I decide that I’m done with the game and will let the chips fall where they may.
I shut down feeling far less than confident in my positioning. It’s doubtful that I’ll still be in the
tournament tomorrow.
It’s morning. A beautiful day in early June. Part of me wants to go outside, I haven’t really been
outside all that much. The demands at this level are extreme. Four hours a day is what’s required
to keep you in this tournament and in many cases that’s not enough. I’ve been in this tournament
for almost a whole month and I’m so ready for it to be over. The stress and sacrifice is hard on
your regular life.
But right now, knowing that I’m so close to the end. Knowing that this is most likely my one and
only chance to win a spreadsheet tournament and complete, what I feel, has been an outstanding
career as an online flash gamer. I’m willing to let all of those things go. I’m willing to push past
my limits, one last time.
I flip through the threads and pull up the draw for the final. My eyes scour the names. I find mine.
Fourth. I did it! I’m one of five players to make it through to the finals.
I collapse on my bed. Unable to believe that I’ve made it through. A few moments later, it dawns
on me that this is 15th final. Fifteenth. I think back to when I played my first one against CNX.
Who would have never imagined it would ultimately lead to this. This moment feels like the
culmination of everything that I’ve been working towards.
The journey is nearly over but there’s still one more test that I have to pass. I have to get across
the finish line. I’m ready for it and as I pull up my chair and prepare myself for what’s to come. I
feel the desire to fight on. I’m going to see this through to the end.
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